I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

Today is the day of birth of the most important person in my life. No, not Edward from the taco truck across the street from my office with the most  amaze carne asada and chicken tacos I've had ever…my mother's. It's Cornelia Johanna Moore's day.  My friends that personally know her know that she's an endearing person with great stories, who would literally take the shirt off her back for anyone who needed it (j ust ask Evonne and Odessa, who work at the ShopRite my mom buys her groceries at. Trust me. I was introduced to them during my vacation)  I've realized that the people who I mention my mother to that haven't had the privilege to meet her personally may get the wrong vibe about her…you know, like that she is racist, loves our dog more than she loves me and physically abuses me with electrical cords. While I was home I wrote down every single thing she said that I thought were words of a wise, worldly amazing Dutch woman… So today, on ...

I once heard in a song I was reading that writing down your goals rather than just keeping them in your brain gives you a better chance of achieving them. I had a goal to do that but it never happened, until now.  I'm really stoked to write these down and have it on the internet forever  I believe it will hold me accountable knowing people are reading them. I also envision that it will be a great moment in 2167… that according to many sources; gurus, my shrink, and the squirrel who lives on my balcony confirm that will be the final year of life . That will be the year I Google myself and show my children, "That one time back in the year 2014 when I was still in my twenties and  I had goals and dreams a lot better and bigger than giving birth to the five of you, and only really truly loving just two of you."*  *PARENTS: Don't come at me with that "We have no favorites circus shit." I have five goals which I believe will be very attainab...