I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

The past year or so has made me notice that my best days are the days I wake up with something to look forward to. I know that sounds extremely, horribly so very sad, but tonight's episode of Glee was the reason this week.  Every TV show, every movie I've ever cried during, doesn't hold a candle to tonight's  Glee tribute to Finn/Cory. For this moment it was art imitating life. Here are my thoughts quick thoughts, for now, since I haven't processed that Cory is gone, and now Finn is as well: I will keep it real to you guys, I didn't start to tear until a quarter through  Seasons of Love.   It wasn't until  I'll Stand By You with the help from Darren Criss, who's real life pain about his loss of Cory could be read on his face and in his watery eyes, that I started to bawl my eyes out and not stop until the commercial break. Then it was basically a rinse and repeat until the credits. I can't tell you if this is the best episode of a TV...

There are only two things in the whole world that when I think about them, they can cause my tear ducts to fill up instantly; the day my dad died, and the death of Selena. Now I have a third. It’s been nine days and I’m not over the death of Cory Monteith and this has weirded* me out as much as it’s probably weirding you out right as you are reading what I can only assume will turn out to be my Cory manifesto. I'm really trying to process why I'm feeling this way.  Every time I tell myself I'm "grieving", I call myself an asshole. I truly can't conceptualize myself grieving someone that I never knew personally. It's so beyond the level of my brain functionality, but at the same time it feels like I am doing it. I’m going to try to figure it out while writing it out. * This document is telling me that “weirded” and “weirding” aren’t words. I can’t deal with that right now Final Draft, let it go, please. I never met Cory. I don’t have or know a friend o...