I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

I’m headed back east for a girlfriend’s wedding this week (surprise, surpriseeee)* * This is what I hear from every single person I tell  why I’m headed home to South Jersey.   I decided to take a couple extra days off to hang out with my mother. She has no idea that I’m in another wedding, nor that I’m headed home (DON’T TELL HER!!!!)  She’s going to be so surprised… first off because I plan on calling her and having a conversation while I’m pulling up to the house and secondly because my friend is super selfish and decided to have her wedding the weekend before Mother’s Day. I may or may not show up with flowers, because let’s all be honest…my present to my mom is basically and should always be … just my presence… but here for your knowledge is my itinerary of Chandra and Cornelia’s Six Days ‘O Fun.** Wednesday 4/30 -   5:55 PM (approximately) —Surprise her… if she doesn’t stroke out because the last time I surprised her for Mother’s Day it looked...

Today was a day.  Let's just start. DIRECTIONS I am horrible at directions. Horrible. Taking them, following them, telling them. Every single time I step out of the elevator to go to my office I turn the wrong way, without fail. It's almost like a Derek Zoolander can't turn left type of issue. Although I will admit that 87% of the time I push the elevator button I always stand at the elevator bank that opens. I'm an idiot savant like that. *wink, fist to chin* Today I had an 1 PM work appointment in downtown LA. I was told which underground garage to park in but not what building to go to. I got there with 15 minutes to spare. I then proceeded to get lost in the parking garage...for 10 minutes. I couldn't reach surface for the life of me. I somehow ended up two levels lower than from where I parked. I kept following signs for the elevator and escalators but it seemed that there were in fact no elevators or escalators. I blacked out and somehow finally reached...

I've always wanted to be that pretty girl that gets hit on by throngs and throngs of men. I used to be so jealous of my friends that it happened to all the time. They would always complain and I would be flabbergasted as to why. IT'S A GIRL'S DREAM. I started taking fish oil daily and it just opened up the flood gates, I guess. Something people may not know about me is that I'm a humble person. Every once in a while though, I feel that I deserve to brag about something. That something right now is that I get hit on... A LOT.  In the past three days alone, I've been hit on six times... And to my beautiful friends; I finally get it now, it's tough, exhausting and disheartening. When will I find a guy who likes me for the inside of me, deteriorated liver and all, instead of just basing their attraction on my milk chocolatey goodness and the huge hole on the side of my right Chuck Taylor? One day, one day maybe... In the mean time I would like to share ...