I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

My Jesus year is winding down and I don’t have too much to show for it besides like finally getting renter’s insurance, learning how to make fall off the bone ribs, not over drafting once this year and Ariana Grande’s thank u, next. Okay, the last one, you may be saying to yourself “Chandra, that’s not one of your accomplishments,” but I truly think you’d beg to differ if you saw the interpretative dance I have choreographed to the song. (IT IS FIRE) That last paragraph was very braggy (apparently braggy isn't a word) and I’m a firm believer that on the internet we should be showing not only our good, but also our flaws, it humanizes all of us. With that said, also in my Jesus year I have -$5.00 in my savings.   Don’t worry. I have the money, guys. I’m   just working through some stuff about this whole " American banking system” and having to pay for my own money and FDIC and APY and APR and ACH and compound interest and whatever. Please don’t start a GoFund Me…unless

I just want to put it out into the ether that there’s something about Macaulay Culkin that draws me to him. I have this theory that on each of our social media platforms, 5-8% of your friends, followers, mortal enemies, etc. see/read/watch what we post. And ohhhhhhhhh boy… if you’re one of those “he was so well liked, he had SO many friends and people who loved him” people that ends up murdered and on a riveting Dateline episo—wait. My bad. I mean… and if you’re one of those very well liked and everybody loves you people, I bump it up to 10-12%. I’ll be honest. I don’t know if this is actually MY theory, or if I read it somewhere or if it’s a spin-off of that “you only use 10% of the clothing in your closet” statistic. Lately I’ve been making up statistics that sound logical. Yesterday I told a friend that 3% of the world’s population are murderers. See? Sounds logical, but DO YOUR RESEARCH! Make sure what you read and share comes from a reputable source and not from a girl who

“F IT! WE’LL DO IT LIVE!” At 33, I’m in my Jesus year right now and the only semi remarkable thing I have done all year was finally purchase renter’s insurance. I’ve decided that this place has now turned into my little therapeutic corner in the world, where if I want to talk about how limburger cheese is so very delicious, I will. Or if I want to talk about how Donald Trump is the sole reason I changed my mind and am now staunchly AGAINST Twitter getting an edit button, I will. Continue reading or don’t. This is mainly for my great grandchildren to read their once amazing matriarch's written words and how she may or may not have also sharted a little sometime in her Jesus year (KIDDING…OR AM I?) I’m just going to stream of consciousness it today. Maybe once I’m done I’ll read it back, tighten it up and make this thing flow like poetry or maybe I’ll just keep it as is and have it read like multiple people from all over have just added whatever they want, wherever the