i mean, i get the concept of titles... but dude, they're like hard

My Jesus year is winding down and I don’t have too much to show for it besides like finally getting renter’s insurance, learning how to make fall off the bone ribs, not over drafting once this year and Ariana Grande’s thank u, next. Okay, the last one, you may be saying to yourself “Chandra, that’s not one of your accomplishments,” but I truly think you’d beg to differ if you saw the interpretative dance I have choreographed to the song. (IT IS FIRE)

That last paragraph was very braggy (apparently braggy isn't a word) and I’m a firm believer that on the internet we should be showing not only our good, but also our flaws, it humanizes all of us. With that said, also in my Jesus year I have -$5.00 in my savings.  Don’t worry. I have the money, guys. I’m  just working through some stuff about this whole "American banking system” and having to pay for my own money and FDIC and APY and APR and ACH and compound interest and whatever. Please don’t start a GoFund Me…unless you want to so I can buy a boat. Also... I haven’t cleaned my oven in two years.

Where is this going? I don’t know. Do you know? I don’t know if you know either because I’m not sure what the title of this is going to be. Is it going to be straight up so you know and skip this read because you're not about dat life? Or is it going to be nonsensical and you won’t know until a few more lines down what this is really about? Who’s to say? Well... I guess I am. I don’t like power.

I thought why not step out of my Jesus year writing about something I’m pretty passionate about and write about often? 

And that is how Nick Jonas is one of the most underrated musicians of our generation.

I’m kidding. It’s about Tom.

Kidding again (only Real Housewives fans will get that)

It’s about guns.

Byeeeee to a lot of you.

I KNOW. I’m repetitive. I KNOW. It’s annoying. I KNOW. This isn’t my lane. I’m just a 33 year old coastal “elite” who doesn’t own a gun (NOT because I think they should all be banned, but for like legit reasons), likes self-help books, and doesn’t think that raking the forest will prevent forest fires...

But as I was sitting around last night watching a show on the ID channel about New York City club kids in the 90s and murder, I was thinking about the shooting in the hospital in Chicago and I thought about what I had read, seen and heard as it was happening, after it happened and so on. What I observed was it seemed like it was normal breaking news story, if that makes sense. Yes, everyone was covering it but it felt like a 24 hour news cycle story that we talk about, then move on right along. Like Kanye visiting the White House or like some other story that was huge for a minute that I can’t think of at this moment because my mind went blank...

I admit my go to question every time this happens is “How/where did he get the gun?” Is that wrong? I don’t know maybe… I don’t know math. This is the very first time instead of that, I went “This feels normal. Why does this feel normal? This shouldn’t feel normal.”  I shouldn’t think “Of course a guy with a gun went into a hospital” or “Of course there was another shooting 11 days after the other mass shooting which happened 12 days after that other mass shooting.*

*Pittsburgh and Thousand Oaks if you forgot, because I did. I had to look up which shooting happened after Thousand Oaks. What is that?

I think yesterday was the first time it really clicked for me about how bad it is for us to normalize this. By doing so there is NO WAY we can try to fix this, it just makes it a way of life. How are we okay living in a world where there’s a possibility you can get shot in a hospital, or a restaurant, or a library, or your office, or a classroom (remember those twenty 1^st graders? Don’t ever forget that) Why are we letting it become normal?

Every day you get in your car with the possibility you could get hurt or killed in an accident. Yes, some instances are out of our control and they happen, nothing in this world is absolutely perfect (besides ABC’s prematurely canceled show, HAPPY ENDINGS) but we have put laws and rules in place to try and diminish the chance of that happening. People were flying through windshields? You have to put your seatbelts on now. People were wasted and killing themselves and others? You can only have a certain amount of alcohol if you want to drive. It started happening again with texting and driving? You can’t text while driving…

Mass shootings? We have done NOTHING to try and diminish them. I am confused by people who think because something won’t stop ALL shootings, we shouldn’t do anything.  I understand the concept that people can and do have different mindsets but it is actually something that is hard for me and I try to come to terms with. So I think I’m asking now... am I the one being unreasonable and fanatical thinking we should try to do something to reduce these shootings? Is it illogical to want our society to try to do something and hey, if it doesn’t work at least we tried and let’s move on to a new plan? Why so?

Okay, I'm done. Can I just end this on that? Is it grammatically correct to end a blog on a question?

Jokes. I’m uncomfortable.

Every time before I do this, my mind goes, “this is annoying, you’re annoying.” but then when I’m done it goes, “keep doing this.” And I will, because I don’t want these shootings to be normal. They can’t be normal. They aren’t normal. This can’t be like, “Well everyone has HPV!” No.

In conclusion, BRING IT ON: ALL OR NOTHING > BRING IT ON -  don’t @ me