I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

Lindsay Lohan Lynwood Correctional Facility 11705 S Alameda Ave Lynwood, CA 90262 Hey Linnerator! How are you!? This will be short but sweet.  I worked over 12 hours today...there is no reason for the sky to look like this when I get out of work:                                                     Do you have any good views from where you are staying? I have no idea what is going on in the celebrity world, I haven't checked my twitter since 9 this morning, I'm starting to shake. And I was in a vault the whole time, so I COMPLETELY know how you are feeling... But I did score this: An Outback VIP Card. 2.50 domestic drafts 3.00 gold coast ritas 5.00 patron magaritas 5.00 premium martinis (I'm sorry I didn't m...

Maybe someone can help me out there...give me some advice.  I've had this friend for a while who I thought was actually a great friend.  Then I realized recently that all that person does is insult me and wish bad things on me.  I have never done anything to this person.  Ok maybe I inadvertanately had a sex dream or two about her guy, but I'm a growing girl. It finally hit me last night when a text convo was started. It went a little something like this all in a span of about 15 minutes: ------ SMS Text ------ From: +1609401 Sent: Jul 27, 2010 7:30 PM Subject: Ughhh i hate u Ughhh i hate u (I quote movies when I get insulted or sad so I replied back with): ------ SMS Text ------ To: +160940 Sent: Jul 27, 2010 7:38 PM Subject: Everytime you say something back... Everytime you say something back to me it makes me love u more -and- ------ SMS Text ------ To: +16094 Sent: Jul 27, 2010 7:38 PM Subject: I'm very very very very sorry w/ a... I'm ve...

Hey-ohh Jailbird Lindo, Whats up???  How's it going today?   I have written 3 letters to you so far and have got none in return.  I mean I'm not angry I just don't see what else you are doing with your time.  It would be nice to acknowledge the fans you still have.   I also heard from a VERY reliable source that you aren't allowed anymore family visits this week, so clearly there's a wide open gap to grab a pen and paper and jot down a few things.  It can be one line or even a haiku..I love haikus!  Anyway on my part, today has had it's share of ups and downs.  It started out pretty well.  For the past two days I've been trying this new thing where I get up earlier than 20 minutes before I'm supposed to be in work.  I have a cup of joe and relax on my futon-o-fun.  Here is me this morning around 7:23 AM: I don't know if you notice but the shirt I am wearing is the EXACT same shirt that Britne...

Lindsay Lohan Lynwood Correctional Facility 11705 S Alameda Ave Lynwood, CA 90262 Dear L-Dawg, Lindz!!!!! I'm so sorry I haven't written in 2 days.  Don't think it was just because of the weekend and I had better things to do...I did have better things to do...but you were always on my mind. I started my Saturday morning with a cup of Dunkin Donuts french vanilla coffee.  I'm telling you that stuff is like crack cocaine (you can probably relate) anyway that is how I started my day with coffee and the latest issue of US Weekly (see enclosed)                 I have to tell you though...it was a complete coincidence that you were on the page that I decided to take a picture of.  I was kinda bummed because you were only mentioned TWICE in this issue.  I have enclosed clips of each page:   Anyway I continued my day...turns out "Home Alone" was on HBO, I watched that.  "Buzz...your girlfriend..woof!"...

Lindsay Lohan Lynwood Correctional Facility 11705 S Alameda Ave Lynwood, CA 90262 Dearest Liloina, Hi! How are you doing today?? I'm doing wonderful, its Friday, the sun is shinning. I actually overslept today for work. I was suppose to be in by 8, but when I opened my eyes it was 8:44...which was awkward. What time did you get up today? Do anything fun? I'm having fun here at work, I went causual today, chucks, dark indigo wash straight leg jeans and a plaid shirt. I enjoy plaid, probably too much. I've enclosed a pic: These are my favorite pair of shoes in the world, they are so worn and dirty and I know I need another pair but I just can't part with them. I pray to God daily to give me the strength to let them move on. It is the worst possible feeling knowing you have to throw out your fave kicks soon, well your situation may trump it a little. Did you eat anything good today? I hear you have a choice of bread and butter or cereal in the morning, th...

I've decided to write one letter a day to Lindsay Lohan while she is incarcerated. I can only imagine how lonely it must be without twitter, without Dina, without Michael Lohan, and without her sister and her bff's the Maloof brothers. This first letter will just explain what she means to me and how I feel about her life, I will try my best to only use "I" statements. Lindsay Lohan 11705 S Alameda Ave Lynwood, CA 90262 Dear Lindsay Lohan, LiLo, Lo-Lo, Li-Li, L-squared, Lindsanity, Hi. How are you? I am doing pretty good, keeping busy, living life. I remember the first time I saw you in 1998's "The Parent Trap." I thought it was spectacular. I was even more mesmerized when I found out you were in fact NOT a twin but you played both parts. I was disappointed when you were not nominated for anything...at all. Next came your feud with Lizzie McGuire over Aaron Carter. That was stupid. Then came along "Freaky Friday" I really enjoyed that...

10. The Phrase Pet Peeves. What does that even mean? If you break it apart it means the peeves of pets...do these peeves annoy actual pets? And if so, how do we know that? 9. People That Do Not Use Their Turn Signals. It's just a common courtsey assholes. 8. Walking in Public Places Growing up it was just an unwritten/unspoken rule: when walking in a crowded place i.e. mall, staircase, etc. walk on the right side, it's just like driving.  When I moved to D.C. after college it was a free for all.  Everybody walking every which way.  It was not a pleasant experience being in that metro station during rush hour.  Not only it was it free for all, everyone was in a rush and speed walking so it was like playing bumper people, without the bumpers. I probably could have shanked someone in the station and gotten away with it that is how chaotic it could get.  Now that I'm in LA things haven't change, I will give LA the benefit of the doubt because in Hollywood th...

When I grow up I want to be exactly like Lindsay Lohan. My celebrity crush is Mel Gibson.