I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

I own an iPhone 4s. It's swell internet/app wise, but I'm a Blackberry girl at heart. Obviously, the Blackberry just couldn't keep up, so I had no choice but to abandon ship...for the time being, of course.  Hey now though, if you're reading this Blackberry, I will be back one day. I just need to see the world, explore myself internally, externally, you know, just figure out what my body likes, needs and wants. But I know, one day, we will meet again, Blackberry. Like Jesus and as they say in the bible Mary Magdalene and "the other Mary",  on Easter Sunday. Keep your hope alive as I am keeping mine. Ever since I got the iPhone, I've had one big beef with it, and that beef is that bitch, Siri. We do not see eye to eye and no matter what we do to try and fix it we will never see eye to eye. Some people in life just can't get along no matter what they do. So for the time being, we have to co-exist. I feel that as much as I complain to people, they...

This is the second blog post I wrote today. This is the second blog post that mentions cocaine. It's a first of seconds on both accounts. Last night's episode of 'Girls' had the main character Hannah asking her friend how to obtain cocaine. "It's for me, to snort, for work, because I'm planning on writing an article that exposes all my vulnerabilities to the entire internet."   So I decided to do the same except instead of coke, my go to disinhibtor ... beer. I'm a slightly narcissistic person. At the same time I think of narcissism as a defense mechanism, love yourself more than you think other people do, so it doesn't matter if they don't love you as much as you think they should.  I also believe narcissism is directly correlated with vulnerability.  One of thing the main things that make me feel vulnerable is expressing my feelings towards people I care about, the fear of them not  reciprocating  always looms over me and is 30% of the r...

My dear friend Amy proposed a ‘cocaine blog battle’ where we both write a post about cocaine and have you guys vote which one you liked best. I said, “…you're going to win, you were a cokehead, the only thing I ever snorted was a blood clot back into my throat.”   Here we go, wish me luck. One of my biggest regrets in life is never trying cocaine. One of the things I’m proudest about in my life is never trying cocaine. I love contradiction, I’m full of it. I’ve been offered cocaine a few times in my life. Each time that I declined, I felt like the next day there should’ve been some kind of parade. Calm down guys,   I wasn’t asking for one as big as the Rose Parade, but maybe something like a Puerto Rican Day parade. I think about trying cocaine often and every time I make a list the pros and cons. The Pros -I think people look really cool when they sniff and do that quick thumb/pointer finger swipe of the nose. -I’m a nocturnal person, which isn...

If there ever comes the day that people can run for the position of head of a TV network, color this my first campaign speech and promise for change. Hopefully my following introductory speech sounds as eloquent as the words of another powerful African American who I daily strive to be like and can only hope to one day achieve to be…Olivia Pope. One love gurrlllll, one love. What are Nielsen ratings? To me, they don't seem like those weird decimal numbers about rating/share, they just sound like numerical ratings of Lesile Nielsen movies, with   Naked Gun 33 1/3  coming in at number one. Brace yourself. Here we go... Helloooo America! Ponder this. What are Nielsen boxes? Who have Nielsen boxes? To those who have Nielsen boxes, will any of you step forward to admit it? I’ve never heard someone say/tweet/blog/Facebook the phrase, “Hey, I have a Nielsen box.”  You Google these questions and the majority of what pops up is people who have   had  a Nielsen box, but ...

I was getting coffee with a co-worker today and I ordered a caramel latte.  The barista asked me a question after I ordered. I didn't hear what he said, so he repeated it. I still couldn't hear, so he repeated it a third time. I responded again with "what?" He repeated it again. I turned to my co-worker for assistance and he said "What is your name?" the proceeded to answer for the barista.  After we left I told him that I really couldn't understand the barista, he said well he was soft spoken, maybe he was intimidated by you.  I was taken aback. "What?! I'm not intimidating." "Yeah, you are just the look you always have on your face. It says 'don't talk to me.'" I cursed out loud and replied with "Dammit, that's supposed to be my airport look." Don't bother me at airports people, don't want to be there, don't want to know you. Unbeknownst to me, my airport look turned into my everyday when...

Keeping this short and sweet. In 1995, Joan Osbourne asked all of us just one question. If you could, what is the sole question you would ask God. If this was 1995 and I got to ask that question, it would probably be along the lines of "God, why do you let people die?" It's 2013 now, so times have changed. For instance, that isn't a question on my mind anymore, I get it and my questions now go deeper. While I don't actually know Joan, I feel like I do. I mean how can you not feel connected to some one who had a huge gold hoop pierced through her nose?  So since I know Joan, I'm pretty sure if she remixed her hit "One of Us" now,  she'd change the lyric from "ask one question", to... ask two questions.  Why do I think this? I don't know, probably because of inflation, gas prices, technological progress and things like that.  Here are my two questions that I would ask God if I could right now. Hey God, why did you ...

Well. Guess I'm doing this again...things that concern me monthly. Gosh, I follow through with things. Yes law school is amazing, my rock collection has been growing since the 4th grade, and I feel healthier day by day with help of my daily, never miss a beat vitamin intake. I decided what my concern would be this month stemmed from a conversation I had with a good friend today. I won't say their name, because they look for their name in every post I write. Now I bet since I won't be name dropping them, they are reading this sentence and thinking "Chandra's such an asshole."   This is a little askew because it's something that won't actually concern me until April. Come this April though, it'll be the fourth April in a row it has concerned me. I went to school with a girl named April. April. I work for a certain government entity. I know a lot of people who work for government entities. We get a lot of perks, benefit wise. The day to day func...

Oh my God, you guys...it's 2013. This is my first post of the new year. It will set the tone for all other posts following. You have no idea how stoked I am to write this.  I was going to write one January 1st and continue to write a post a day for the whole entire year. New Years Eve helped defunct that resolution quickly due to my Fireball whiskey intake, subsequent meatball intake (yup, I ate a lot of meatballs around 1:30 that morning) and horrid flight back to LA. So this had to be postponed. I won't lie, there's pressure.  An abundant amount of pressure. I feel pressured to make this astronomically amazing for you, the reader. I feel pressured to make myself feel satisfied as a writer and show myself how I've grown. Shit. Now I'm sweating because of all the pressure. Stop pressuring me. How do I find the perfect topic to kick off the New Year? How do I  try and grow upon anything I've written in previous years? Well... I could write about the fisca...