I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

There are only two things in the whole world that when I think about them, they can cause my tear ducts to fill up instantly; the day my dad died, and the death of Selena. Now I have a third. It’s been nine days and I’m not over the death of Cory Monteith and this has weirded* me out as much as it’s probably weirding you out right as you are reading what I can only assume will turn out to be my Cory manifesto. I'm really trying to process why I'm feeling this way.  Every time I tell myself I'm "grieving", I call myself an asshole. I truly can't conceptualize myself grieving someone that I never knew personally. It's so beyond the level of my brain functionality, but at the same time it feels like I am doing it. I’m going to try to figure it out while writing it out. * This document is telling me that “weirded” and “weirding” aren’t words. I can’t deal with that right now Final Draft, let it go, please. I never met Cory. I don’t have or know a friend o...

I would be lying if I said my writing has not taken a backseat to more important things like the Starbucks drive-thru and sitting in the my thinking a spot in the Hills and thinking about how I should be writing, or staying up for 48 hours straight re-watching a TV series I've already watched on Netflix in a weekend (i.e. Kyle XY and Desperate Housewives) I would also be lying if I said I had good ideas, and good writing over this year. I hate using the phrase writer's block...so when anyone asks me if I've been writing, I always respond with "eh, a bit, but I've been blocked." I don't want to be the person that blames it on the fact that work has been extremely busy or the fact that my cousin 4 times removed, has been missing since April, but something has been happening in my brain where ideas pop in and when I try to get going, they stop either in the intro, or the middle. It kind of feels like when you have a word, and it's "on the tip of yo...

I'm on  a roll you guys. It's been one day since my last post.  Hey friends, The ones that love comedy, the ones that laugh at funny, inappropriate things. The ones that watch the roasts on Comedy Central and tell me "Dude, Amy Schumer, is so funny." Really? Is she funny? Then why the fuck aren't you watching Inside Amy Schumer?  With each of friends, I know their level of humor, what they can or cannot handle. Well most of the time. I admit there are times I say something to a person and immediately think "too far." The majority of the time though I have an amazing gauge on it.  Amy Schumer somehow does and says the inappropriate in such an appropriate way that I want to become her best friend, and I want her to give me a job. Amy, if you are reading this, I'd be the perfect candidate to be hired at minimum wage (minimum wage is 20.00/hr now, right?) just to give you your morning cookie at the appropriate temperature. ...

Oh. Hi there.  It's been a while, yet again. Between keeping up with my Facebook, Twitter, Vine, Instagram and Youtube, this blog has surely taken a backseat in my labor of love car. I've decided this post will be an update for the millions of you out there that wonder what is happening in my life and what I'm thinking about.  I wouldn't call myself a private person, re: the six social networking sites I'm on. Yet still, some friends will tell you that I "never tell them anything" or I'm "shady" when I nonchalantly mention something along the lines of "You know, the dude I've been dating for nine months" or "I've been going to church twice a week for the last two years."  It's not that I'm trying to be shady, but I don't really like repeating myself, and that's exactly what you have to do every time someone asks you "How are you?" and "What's new with you?" It's muc...

...making horrible decisions. I had this epiphany while walking out of work today.  We all make horrible decisions and we have since we were little, but I believe I started making horrible decisions more consciously and consistently once I turned 21. Over the past six years or so, every decision I've made has been horrible. With every rule though, there is an exception. I have to give myself credit where credit is due though. In these past six years I have made some good decisions, like moving out to LA, not posting the picture of my mother and six year old me in authenic Dutch garb while vacationing in Holland (soon, guys, soon) and the time in Vegas when my Visa was shut off and I didn't call that night to have it reactivated. Also, I haven't been offered drugs in a while, but I'm assuming if I had, I would've said no. Other than that, every decision I've made has been horrid. Let me show you.  Horrible Decision Example #1 Right now. I have a New Girl s...

Since I haven't written anything on here in like two years, and nothing in my mind is worth being documented for the rest of eternity...please enjoy this guest post from my friend Amy, or as many of you know her by her rave name TheAmyMCR. I wrote her a dark, a little twisted, slightly belivable eulogy at her request that she posted on her blog, and in turn she wrote me one back. I never found a good time to post it because people in the world kept dying so it seemed to be morbid and disrespectful for me to get a eulogy while I was still alive. Almost like a millionaire winning the lottery. Luckily I have shut myself off from the outside world for a little bit and it seems to me that nobody has died in the last 48-72 hours. (If somone has, DON'T tell me! NO SPOILERS!) At the end of this if you ask yourself "Why is Chandra friends with her?" My only response would be "What came first? The chicken or the egg?" Enjoy. Chandra's Eulogy (Stumble on...

Spring break forr evaaa... I saw  Spring Breakers this past Saturday. I'm not a big movie goer. I'm content with watching the now playing in theaters movies that iTunes has in my own home, in sweats eating a pound of tuna sashimi. But there was a three fold triangle that made me decide to partake in the popular American pasttime. 1st fold : Ashley Benson, Selena Gomez, and Vanessa Hudgens I'm a huge Pretty Little Liars, Wizards of Waverly Place*, and High School Musical franchise fan *Selena Gomez was named after Selena, so in my eyes, Gomez can do no wrong, and I have taken her under my wing and will defend her until her demise. 2nd fold : James Franco. I love him. I loved him since ' Freaks and Geeks'   ...I fell in love with him as Tristan in Tristan and Isolde and he's a super crazy, almost schizo eclectic...and I love that.  Plus...that James Dean thing he's got going for him... 3rd fold : Harmony Korine  ... I remember watching  ...