With my dear friend Linsanity's latest woes, I had already started populating my "Letters to Lindsay - version 2.0. I really thought she was going to go back to the slammer, I was uberly excited that this was going to happen because then we could re-ignite the relationship we started over the summer. MISS THIS GIRL! I'll be honest once she was sprung from Lynwood, I tried to keep in contact but it was tough because no one would give me her address, she never replied to my tweets, and the impossible happened - I couldn't even get anything out of Michael Lohan's mouth. Then the judge sentenced her to the worst possible thing: rehab until January 3rd 2011. I thoroughly oppose rehabs, I'm a staunch believer in the old saying "Rehab is for quitters!" I cannot with a clean conscience continually write a daily letter to the Lin-dawg and address it to "Betty Ford Center." It would go against everything I believe in. After much contemplation...
Recently I have come across something which in my eyes is already a pandemic in our country or maybe just in my apartment. It is worse than swine flu, but better than texting and driving, yet equal to self mutilation (razor blades only). It’s called Drinking While Watching Infomercials (DWWI). \ For so long I only thought as the infomercial to be somewhat of entertaining programming for the insomniacs and night time security guards. Well this past month something has happened. These infomercials are just as sneaky and conniving as the credit card companies that up your interest rate to 30% just because you haven’t paid a monthly payment in 9 months. You take your average young adult American who may or may not have an issue with drinking and have them turn on the boob tube at 2:00 am in the morning and these are some of the things that a person who is writing this blog may or may not have purchased while under the influence. The Pillow Pet. This purchase was solely based on th...
My Jesus year is winding down and I don’t have too much to show for it besides like finally getting renter’s insurance, learning how to make fall off the bone ribs, not over drafting once this year and Ariana Grande’s thank u, next. Okay, the last one, you may be saying to yourself “Chandra, that’s not one of your accomplishments,” but I truly think you’d beg to differ if you saw the interpretative dance I have choreographed to the song. (IT IS FIRE) That last paragraph was very braggy (apparently braggy isn't a word) and I’m a firm believer that on the internet we should be showing not only our good, but also our flaws, it humanizes all of us. With that said, also in my Jesus year I have -$5.00 in my savings. Don’t worry. I have the money, guys. I’m just working through some stuff about this whole " American banking system” and having to pay for my own money and FDIC and APY and APR and ACH and compound interest and whatever. Please don’t start a GoFund Me…unless ...
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