Things I Just Don't Understand...

I have complied a list.  I am far from the sharpest tool in the shed, garage, toolbox, hardware store etc.  There are many things that well...I just don't understand.  Like for instance, why would you take Pluto away as a planet.  That's like taking a piece of my childhood away,  I miss being able to say "My Very Excellent Mother Just Made Us Nine Pizzas."  So this is a list of just a few of many things I will probably never understand. 



Facebook vs. The Dislike Button

Why facebook won't put a dislike button..I mean let's be logical here. There is no 'dislike' button but there is a 'poke' button?  I'm estimating only 1/6 of the facebook population actually knows what it means.  Are the people of facebook afraid that the dislike button is going to hurt too many peoples' feelings?  I thought we as a people were given free will.  Well not having the choice to not like something is the opposite of free will, it's like communism, or utilitarianism, or like really stupid.  I just don't understand.

The Gatorade G-series

Uhhh...are you kidding me??? What is that? Prime, Perform, Replenish? That doesn't sound like someone is  partaking in a sporting event it sounds more like a typical night of drinking for me.

Prime - the pregame..a beer in the shower, a shot while moisturizing  3 beers while finding what to wear
Perform - being that charming, intelligent, fun to be around drunk.

Recover - wake up the next morning/afternoon drive to McDonald's and order a #1 with a sweet tea.

What was wrong with good ol regular lemon-lime, orange, or fruit punch gatorade? I just don't understand.

Ye of Little Faith..

The people (and by people I mean my dear friends who are suppose to support and believe in me) that don't think I could get away with the perfect crime...hello people I majored in criminal justice AND psychology so basically I can be in the mind of a criminal and a cop...at the same time. While I'm not condoning it, practice it, or ever planning on doing so, I could totally murder someone and get away with it. Why do you guys not believe me?  And for the record this is neither creepy or morbid. I just don't understand.

My Fame

Why am I not famous yet? I mean...come on...helllo, I have 113 followers on twitter and I don't want to name-drop but I've got Britney and Heidi on that list checking my t-line. And must I remind you of Perez Hilton and Katy Perry writing me? No? If you want to join the other 113 screaming fans follow me @thechandramoore. I just don't understand. 

The Duggars
There is no way you love all 19 of those children the equally same...I bet at least two of them are getting the shaft. Also do all the siblings know each other?  That's a lot of names and faces to remember. I just don't understand.

Amanda Bynes
She said she retired...then she said she was unretired...then she said she was retired until she decided to act again..I DON'T  GET IT. That's not retiring...that's a leave of absence or like in Ross Geller's case... a sabbatical ..I just don't understand.

Amanda Bynes (again) and Me
 I have trouble comprehending my annoyance with her it could be because she tweets shit like this: "if you're in love and you don't want anyone else get married immediately". It's not like I hate her, maybe I just want her money and/or to be her.  I just don't understand.


Speed Limits - Radar Enforced
Radar enforced..you've all seen it..the speed limit signs that say "radar enforced" I have never felt enforced by that sign, radarally speaking of course. And this "radar enforced" warning isn't even on the speed limit signs that actually calculate your speed. Where are these radars and how are they enforcing it? I just don't understand.

Magic Traffic
Speaking of speed limits...traffic. Traffic not caused by an accident or a pulled over car. Just regular traffic that your stuck in and all of a sudden it breaks open and you do the Exorcist head spin and look all around to see the cause and you can't find it anywhere. There has to be one person to start it all up and I think we need to find these people and send them somewhere...actually I would first just like to sit down with them and ask them..why? Why do they do the things they do? I just don't understand.

Disney Hate
I don't get hating on my love for the Disney Channel.  I don't judge when you people watch shows like Ice Road Truckers, porn, or Jon & Kate Plus 8 (don't you feel like idiots now for watching it for so long?).  So what if I like the corny clean fun shows such as but not limited to 'Hannah Montana', 'Wizards of Waverly Place', and 'Sonny With a Chance'?  These shows at some points are legitimately funny, where I laugh out loud and say "wow, that was funny."  Why won't you people just give the channel a chance?  If you still think I'm a weirdo, Selena Gomez makes $30,000 an episode so she's more worthy of my attention than you assholes.  I just don't understand.

The Wait is about ...
Wait times at restaurants...how do they know a table will be ready for me in 25 minutes? I want to do one of those flash mob things where I get all these people to go to the same restaurant and no one will get up, then let's see the restaurant try to give an accurate wait time. I really just don't understand.

Take a Load Off
Take a load off...what? A load of what? Are u calling me a load? I just don't understand..