I have a degree in Psychology, so I can like analyze things that are psychological and stuff pretty well. Since completing my degree four long years ago I have diagnosed three of my friends with bi-polar disorder, two with schizophrenia, and one who is a complete sociopath, and will be coming into their place of work one day and shooting it up. To say I'm qualified is an understatement. I can analyze through handwriting, body language and I can also read lips. I decided to look beyond the surface of the pictures from the Justin Bieber paparazzi scandal that happened this past weekend and give you the 100% real scoop of what happened after the altercation.
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"Bro, you made me lose my shoe!" |
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"What the hell am I supposed to do now bro? My purple shoe is lying in the gutter."
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"I told you these were stupid pants, J." "Selena, I don't care. I have one shoe on and my purple hat is still lying in the gutter." |
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"Just put your shoe back on and calm down." "I have one shoe on, how do you expect me to calm down?! The bottom of my sock is dirty now!"
Do you need help babe?" "No I need to get this fucking shoe back on!"
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"Wait, yeah I do need help. Can you help me?" |
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"Keep it together Justin, don't cry, hold the tears in, hold the tears in." "Justin I've got your hat." |
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"I don't care if money is falling out of my weird pants. Just don't let them see you cry. Don't let them see you cry."
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"Babe. Wait for me. Babe. Babe."
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"I hope your happy. Of course he's pissed, you made him lose his hat!" |
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"Seriously! What did you expect? His hat fell off!" |
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"Justin. Justin. Honey, I got your hat."
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"Are you okay sir? I'm sorry, I can't control his temper, he's still trying to get his testosterone levels in check."
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"Hey girls, I'm just going to blend in with you guys for a bit, if that's okay. Are you guys Wizards fans?"
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"Oh that cop is summonning me over, isn't he?"
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"Maybe if I show a little leg, we can get out of this. I wonder if this guy's daughters are Wizards fans."
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"Nope, leg didn't help, and he has no children." |
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"...and then he called me a Hispanic racial slur, which shocked me because I mean, her name is Selena. Gomez." |
Photos courtesy of OceanUp. Thanks OceanUp
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