Things That Concern Me: May 22nd, 2012: The Life of Friends
You're either a proud watcher of Glee, or claim it’s a guilty pleasure. For me, this debate wavers week to week, just like my personal hygiene, my work ethic and my work productivity. Okay, okay, work productivity stays at an almost stagnant slim to none level daily. I guess what I’m saying is, I watched the season finale of Glee, and like most TV graduations, it brings you back to those “this is everything and defines me as a person” high school days, especially when the show has songs that were burned on your graduation mix made on Memorex CD and it made me think of friends.
The season finale of Glee made me feel things I’ve never felt before. Not like the things I feel when Justin Bieber says “hello to falsetto in 3, 2...” but real feelings. Maybe it’s because I’ve aged since the last TV show graduation episode I watched. The last ones I can remember off the top of my head are, The OC’s with an AWESOME Imogen Heap song playing (RIP Marissa) and One Tree Hill’s with Haley going into labor (sweet Jaime Scott). I don't know, maybe these feelings are stronger because I’m maturing. It’s probably the former but it seems, at least for me, you become more reminiscent of your past each day you grow closer to your death. You start to think about the people. Oh, what does “the people” entail you ask me? Oh, I’ll tell you. The people encompasses, the friends you have, the friends you wish you were still close with, the friends you lost, and those who could have been.
The Friends You Have
These are the friends you still have after high school and college who decided they could still withstand your shit. If you think about every single friend you have ever had, these people are few and far between. And I’m not talking about the ones you are just Facebook friends with, it doesn’t count. I’m talking about the friends you can still call/text at any moment in time and it wouldn’t be awkward, even though you may have not seen or talked to them in a beat. These people are special. These are the people that help shape you into a person. They helped shape you into the person you want to be, or the person you didn’t even know you were yet. The college friends help shape you even closer into the person you want to be. Within this time, you change, usually multiple times. And those true friends from high school accept that. As do your true friends from college. And that’s why, no matter what, you are there for them and them, you. That’s why you fly back home for their weddings without questions, it's why you Skype with them, it's why they pick up your phone calls at 1 AM when it’s three hours later where they are, and it's why you click ‘like’ on the photos of their children.
The Friends You Lost and And the Friends You Wish You Were Still Close With
These two type of friends can be intertwined to a degree. These are the friends from high school and college that you are Facebook friends with now. At one point in your life you were super close, sometimes inseparable with these people and thought that would never change, but somewhere along the way, you grew apart. With some of them you just knew it was inevitable that you were going to part ways. With others you don’t know what went wrong and wish you could go back. You stalk their Facebook pages and stare at the screen wondering if you should just post a “Hey” or “Thinking about you” and then realize that would be too awkward, for both of you. While you do write the annual obligatory “Happy Birthday” on their wall, you always continue to ignore the fact they made an impact on your life and you actually, kind of miss them. It just seems you have grown so far apart you could never get back to that "comfortable" aspect of being friends. It would be like you were trying to befriend a stranger.
The Friends That “Could Have Been”
These people are also stalked by you on Facebook, and these are the people you went to elementary, middle, and high school with. It’s those people that either a) friend requested you and you thought “why the heck is this person friending me?” Or b) “I’m going to friend this person and see what is happening in their life because their Facebook page is private and I can’t find out unless I click on request friend.” A and B can clearly be flipped flopped. After the “acceptance” and a complete stalking of photos, info, mutual friends, and wall posts. You go, “wow have so much in common, or “wow, he became so cute” or “wow, I can’t believe I was okay with people picking on him/her when we were 11. They look like they are really well adjusted for what they went through. Surprising, but very happy about it.” (Sometimes they don't, but I'm all about the benefit) You think to yourself “Why didn’t I talk to them more when we were always around each other? Why did I care what my 'friends' that I'm no longer friends with thought if I talked to them?"
High school is literally like a rest stop in Arkansas that is surrounded by nothing but tumbleweeds and an elderly man with five teeth, yet he has a heart of gold. Yeah I don’t know what than means either but...
When you are in your 20s, watching a TV show filled with 20 somethings playing high school characters, this is when you realize that high school wasn’t the beginning/end of your life.
So, to you that I’ve lost, or missed out on, is it too late? Yeah? Okay, still going to continue to stalk you out on Facebook. Kisses.
...And then there are the friends you make along the way...
The season finale of Glee made me feel things I’ve never felt before. Not like the things I feel when Justin Bieber says “hello to falsetto in 3, 2...” but real feelings. Maybe it’s because I’ve aged since the last TV show graduation episode I watched. The last ones I can remember off the top of my head are, The OC’s with an AWESOME Imogen Heap song playing (RIP Marissa) and One Tree Hill’s with Haley going into labor (sweet Jaime Scott). I don't know, maybe these feelings are stronger because I’m maturing. It’s probably the former but it seems, at least for me, you become more reminiscent of your past each day you grow closer to your death. You start to think about the people. Oh, what does “the people” entail you ask me? Oh, I’ll tell you. The people encompasses, the friends you have, the friends you wish you were still close with, the friends you lost, and those who could have been.
The Friends You Have
These are the friends you still have after high school and college who decided they could still withstand your shit. If you think about every single friend you have ever had, these people are few and far between. And I’m not talking about the ones you are just Facebook friends with, it doesn’t count. I’m talking about the friends you can still call/text at any moment in time and it wouldn’t be awkward, even though you may have not seen or talked to them in a beat. These people are special. These are the people that help shape you into a person. They helped shape you into the person you want to be, or the person you didn’t even know you were yet. The college friends help shape you even closer into the person you want to be. Within this time, you change, usually multiple times. And those true friends from high school accept that. As do your true friends from college. And that’s why, no matter what, you are there for them and them, you. That’s why you fly back home for their weddings without questions, it's why you Skype with them, it's why they pick up your phone calls at 1 AM when it’s three hours later where they are, and it's why you click ‘like’ on the photos of their children.
The Friends You Lost and And the Friends You Wish You Were Still Close With
These two type of friends can be intertwined to a degree. These are the friends from high school and college that you are Facebook friends with now. At one point in your life you were super close, sometimes inseparable with these people and thought that would never change, but somewhere along the way, you grew apart. With some of them you just knew it was inevitable that you were going to part ways. With others you don’t know what went wrong and wish you could go back. You stalk their Facebook pages and stare at the screen wondering if you should just post a “Hey” or “Thinking about you” and then realize that would be too awkward, for both of you. While you do write the annual obligatory “Happy Birthday” on their wall, you always continue to ignore the fact they made an impact on your life and you actually, kind of miss them. It just seems you have grown so far apart you could never get back to that "comfortable" aspect of being friends. It would be like you were trying to befriend a stranger.
The Friends That “Could Have Been”
These people are also stalked by you on Facebook, and these are the people you went to elementary, middle, and high school with. It’s those people that either a) friend requested you and you thought “why the heck is this person friending me?” Or b) “I’m going to friend this person and see what is happening in their life because their Facebook page is private and I can’t find out unless I click on request friend.” A and B can clearly be flipped flopped. After the “acceptance” and a complete stalking of photos, info, mutual friends, and wall posts. You go, “wow have so much in common, or “wow, he became so cute” or “wow, I can’t believe I was okay with people picking on him/her when we were 11. They look like they are really well adjusted for what they went through. Surprising, but very happy about it.” (Sometimes they don't, but I'm all about the benefit) You think to yourself “Why didn’t I talk to them more when we were always around each other? Why did I care what my 'friends' that I'm no longer friends with thought if I talked to them?"
High school is literally like a rest stop in Arkansas that is surrounded by nothing but tumbleweeds and an elderly man with five teeth, yet he has a heart of gold. Yeah I don’t know what than means either but...
When you are in your 20s, watching a TV show filled with 20 somethings playing high school characters, this is when you realize that high school wasn’t the beginning/end of your life.
So, to you that I’ve lost, or missed out on, is it too late? Yeah? Okay, still going to continue to stalk you out on Facebook. Kisses.
...And then there are the friends you make along the way...
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