I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

“Write what you know.”  That’s what everyone tells writers to do.  It’s a phrase embedded in your brain from the moment you take your first baby step in writing.  It’s like the “stop, drop and roll” phrase for Kindergartners or the “never leave your drink unattended” warning for girls who fear adventure or have no zest in life. Even non-writers tell writers to write what they know; a parking attendant said it to me the other day. Well here are some things I know. -I know dipping your French Fries in mayonnaise is tasty as shit. Yes. It's very unhealthy, but the Europeans do it and they are skinnier, smarter, and richer than me so why can't I reach for those stars?  -I know I enjoy the way a beer burp feels in my throat. You have to hold the burp in to get the effect.  It kind of feels like a vibrating throat tickle, in a good way. -If you are a close friend of mine, I may not remember when your favorite aunt died or your birthday without help from Facebook, but do I kno

I believe there are three tiers of ignorance.  You don't?  Well I will show you. Example 1 – Not knowing if it was George Washington Carver, or George Washington who either invented or discovered either the peanut, or peanut butter Example 2 - Thinking the best place to get Mexican food is Taco Bell Example 3 – The entire congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church Do you see the difference? If you don’t maybe you are ignorant. Just kidding, no but seriously, you probably are. Let me break it down. Not knowing which George Dub invented or discovered either the peanut or peanut butter is me. It is very ignorant on my part, but I like to look at it as a cute, charming quality of mine. The second example is from the friend every one needs in their lives. The person who is naive, but not rude, but is still growing in life and gives us that chuckle and makes everyone go, “Oh that’s just typical of so-and-so and their cute, charming ignorance.” The final example is a disgusting