I'm Serious. I'm Kidding.

The Blackberry Outage of the Century.   I will never forget the day.  It was October 12th, 2011.  It started like any other weekday.  I headed into work, checked my Outlook, TMZ.com, PerezHilton.com, People.com, FunnyOrDie.com, HelloGiggles.com and proceeded to BBM my best friend who lives 3,000 miles away.  Daily BBM is our ritual.  Every single day, all day from the time I get up until the time she goes to bed.  We chat about all the important topics and issues; TV shows from the previous night, celebrity tweets, and when she is officially going to ask me to be the Godmother of her soon to be newborn baby boy. The day started out with the typical BBMs, "90210 has not been doing it for me this season."  Kristen said.   I replied, "Yeah, not for me either, but OMG, how about the ending of The Ringer?   Those last 30 seconds, every week, they get me every week.”  For some reason, maybe it was the three cups of coffee I had, but I was feeling bold that morning so I said

It’s time for another installment of things that screwed me up in my adult life.                                                           Wooden Shoes and Wooden Hearts  My Dad died a day before my sixth birthday.   Don’t feel bad for me though, I have some fond memories of the times we spent together.  I used to lay with him and watch the Home Shopping Network where he would call up and buy things for my mom, and he used to read Sesame Street books to me.  This one time he spanked me because I wouldn’t listen to my mother, after he hugged me and said he loved me.  Plus my mom was very successful in playing the mother/father role while I was growing up.   My mom thought it would be best to try to get my mind off of his death.   The best thing she could come up with is taking a five week trip to Holland to see her side of the family.  I mean how could bringing a six year old to a foreign country where she barely knew anyone and knew none of the language be traumatizing?  Fou

Recently, I've been consumed by an uncontrollable rage.  It's peculiar because I'm a laid back and super easy person to get along with, like super...easy.   I'm not really sure where it's coming from.  I try to give every one the utmost respect and  maybe get some back.  In actuality I don't really expect it in return, because I have incredibly low self-esteem and don't believe I deserve respect, but hey, that's my issue. I don't know, maybe it's karma?  Am I getting what I deserve because I used to drink in high school and steal candy from the grocery store?  (My friends made me do it, seriously).  Or maybe it's because I hit that pregnant lady with my car during my first senior year of college? Maybe I'm mean spirited person?  I thought for the most part, I kept that in check by keeping my sociopathic and insensitive thoughts in my head and only saying them out loud to my best friend and my stuffed animal bedtime pal PJ (RIP buddy). 

I'm 25 years old.   Okay, I'm 26.   Fine. I'm 26 1/2 years old. I still don't think I know who I truly am as a person, but I'm slowly learning day by day.   Each day that goes by I realize just a little more how awesome I am.   I’m smart enough to know that I didn’t come to this point in my life on my own.   I believe that there are certain moments in a person’s life that help define how that person turns out.   For some people it’s one huge event, while for others there are many spread throughout the years.   I would like to share with you (in no particular order) some of the events have helped shape me (so far)… The Rock     When I was around 11 or 12 years old, I was around the corner playing with a friend. I had brought over my bike (complete with helmet), soccer ball, wiffle ball bat, and every other possible toy a tomboy could have.   For some reason or another we had become bored with the toys and decided it would be more fun to skip rocks into the str

I'm sitting here thinking of some of these guys below who have floated in and out of my life and what could have been.  They have brought me to the place I'm at today.  I salute you, even though you have no clue. In no particular order : -The guy who was two grades below me.  I circled his yearbook picture when I was in 4th grade and he was in 2nd, because he was cute.  He got hotter and hotter by the year.  Our paths did not cross until we were introduced three years ago on Thanksgiving Eve at our hometown watering hole.  I haven't spoken to or seen him since. -My soulmate who would not break up with his girlfriend, now turned wife.  Wishing you guys all the best! -My 65 year-old college professor.  I swear this was true and utter love on my end.  To this day, everytime I hear the song 'Red Red Wine' by multi-platinum, 5 time Grammy Award winning group UB40, I think of him and get chills.  If you're out there Ron Chance -- I still love you.  If you are

1.  the side-view mirror of my car has a MAJOR blind spot 2.  Jerry's Famous Deli has pretty good fresh squeezed orange juice, but its not as good as the fresh squeezed orange juice at Paty's 3.  Paty's in Toluca Lake has the best fresh squeezed orange juice I have ever or, will ever have in my entire life 4.  the worst place to drive is up in the Hollywood Hills.  I'd rather drive over broken glass, in a convertible, while its raining and it is 33 degrees out 5.  if you want to see Justin's Timberlake's house, don't.  It becomes a little awkward when his house is at a dead end and you have to turn around and his security guard is staring at you, and he's not staring in a "I want your body" type of way

February 2, 2011 Dear Lindslace, It's been a while, how are you? Don't answer that. I think I know. Today is pretty bittersweet for me. On the bitter side, I hate to see you go through what you are going through, but on the sweet side, I'm slightly stoked because if it goes the way I hope, we could quite possibly start up our correspondence again. You can see the pickle I'm in. As I sit here in my office on my lunch break  eating a delicious Macho Taco from Del Taco:   I am watching you walk into the courthouse for your arraignment: I don't know if you were trying to throw off the media and make it seem like you were going to the courthouse to get married, but it wasn't working for you today...at all..and this is coming from a girl who is completely comfortable wearing shirts with holes in the armpits. Anyway I'm getting off topic.  This is just a brief letter basically saying I hope everything turns out well, but then again I hope it doesn