A Thank You to All of My Unrequited Lovers.
I'm sitting here thinking of some of these guys below who have floated in and out of my life and what could have been. They have brought me to the place I'm at today. I salute you, even though you have no clue.
In no particular order :
-The guy who was two grades below me. I circled his yearbook picture when I was in 4th grade and he was in 2nd, because he was cute. He got hotter and hotter by the year. Our paths did not cross until we were introduced three years ago on Thanksgiving Eve at our hometown watering hole. I haven't spoken to or seen him since.
-My soulmate who would not break up with his girlfriend, now turned wife. Wishing you guys all the best!
-My 65 year-old college professor. I swear this was true and utter love on my end. To this day, everytime I hear the song 'Red Red Wine' by multi-platinum, 5 time Grammy Award winning group UB40, I think of him and get chills. If you're out there Ron Chance -- I still love you. If you are reading this, let's give it a go!
-One of the cooks at the nursing home I worked at in high school...I invited him over to my house and even lied to mother and told her he was from Pennsauken, NJ, not Camden, NJ. He never showed. After that it was just a string of long embraces and an ocassional makeout in the freezer. Oh what could have been Eric...what could have been.
-The bald Puerto Rican guy who was literally there one night and literally gone the next morning.
-His less attractive friend, who I danced extremely, extremely close to after a weeknight of a whole lot of binge drinking at the bar next door, it meant something to me because the way we were dancing was not appropiate while listening to an acoustic set of a mutual friend.
-The 22 year old man I kissed at the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert when I was 14. I gave him my home phone number, but he never called...unless my mother intercepted...hmm, I guess we'll never know. If only Chris Hansen was active back then, I could have made my big break.
-The kid in the heater room my freshman year. Wait...no, that couldn't have gone anywhere.
-The Cuban guy on the boat who when we got off the boat never sent me the pictures he said he was going to send, or returned the emails I sent to him. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME YOUR INFO! THANKS FOR MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A STALKER! I'm sorry about that outburst. This one is still a little fresh, it happened three years ago.
-The guy who I talked to for weeks before we finally decided to go to the movies on Valentines Day and the night before he EMAILS me at 2 AM saying he has to cancel. He had to fly to Mexico immediately because his mom had fallen ill. We could have been perfect. The sound of our names make together just click...Tristan & Chandra. (I told you it sounded good)
-My tattoo covered co-worker who just had a brand new baby boy, with his wife. Congrats.
-The guy from North Hollywood. Actually this is a lie. This wasn't unrequited on either of our parts. The reason is two-fold. One reason was because as soon as we walked to the bar he did the robot, which I'm all for, but not when you can do it better than me, and not when you're trying to order drinks. Second, it turned out he was gay.
Thank you for not taking my subtle hints that I loved you all.
In no particular order :
-The guy who was two grades below me. I circled his yearbook picture when I was in 4th grade and he was in 2nd, because he was cute. He got hotter and hotter by the year. Our paths did not cross until we were introduced three years ago on Thanksgiving Eve at our hometown watering hole. I haven't spoken to or seen him since.
-My soulmate who would not break up with his girlfriend, now turned wife. Wishing you guys all the best!
-My 65 year-old college professor. I swear this was true and utter love on my end. To this day, everytime I hear the song 'Red Red Wine' by multi-platinum, 5 time Grammy Award winning group UB40, I think of him and get chills. If you're out there Ron Chance -- I still love you. If you are reading this, let's give it a go!
-One of the cooks at the nursing home I worked at in high school...I invited him over to my house and even lied to mother and told her he was from Pennsauken, NJ, not Camden, NJ. He never showed. After that it was just a string of long embraces and an ocassional makeout in the freezer. Oh what could have been Eric...what could have been.
-The bald Puerto Rican guy who was literally there one night and literally gone the next morning.
-His less attractive friend, who I danced extremely, extremely close to after a weeknight of a whole lot of binge drinking at the bar next door, it meant something to me because the way we were dancing was not appropiate while listening to an acoustic set of a mutual friend.
-The 22 year old man I kissed at the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert when I was 14. I gave him my home phone number, but he never called...unless my mother intercepted...hmm, I guess we'll never know. If only Chris Hansen was active back then, I could have made my big break.
-The kid in the heater room my freshman year. Wait...no, that couldn't have gone anywhere.
-The Cuban guy on the boat who when we got off the boat never sent me the pictures he said he was going to send, or returned the emails I sent to him. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME YOUR INFO! THANKS FOR MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A STALKER! I'm sorry about that outburst. This one is still a little fresh, it happened three years ago.
-The guy who I talked to for weeks before we finally decided to go to the movies on Valentines Day and the night before he EMAILS me at 2 AM saying he has to cancel. He had to fly to Mexico immediately because his mom had fallen ill. We could have been perfect. The sound of our names make together just click...Tristan & Chandra. (I told you it sounded good)
-My tattoo covered co-worker who just had a brand new baby boy, with his wife. Congrats.
-The guy from North Hollywood. Actually this is a lie. This wasn't unrequited on either of our parts. The reason is two-fold. One reason was because as soon as we walked to the bar he did the robot, which I'm all for, but not when you can do it better than me, and not when you're trying to order drinks. Second, it turned out he was gay.
Thank you for not taking my subtle hints that I loved you all.
*gives an applause*
ReplyDeleteI love this.