Things That Concern Me (Kind Of) - 2012 Election - October 26th, 2012

Hey. Yo, Facebook...lets talk about the election, and who you want to win. I’m doing this in a blog post, because that’s where it should be done. Not as your Facebook status. I don’t need to see a nine line Facebook status about how Romney is amazing and Obama is the devil and vice versa.  I also do not need to see people posting six line status’ on how they are annoyed by people posting  political/presidential/election status’ ... if you want to bash Obama, or Romney, or Lindsay Lohan...GET. A. FUCKING. BLOG. 

Link your blog post on your Facebook wall, that way, people get a choice on whether or not to read your ramblings...(mostly Republicans...just kidding, I’m a Republican. Just kidding about just kidding, about just kidding. Where is Ross Perot?)  

The only political posts I, and the majority, and by majority, I think I mean the “47%” want to see are funny ones. Please, make funny, intellectual...yet witty, maybe even thought provoking posts about the candidates, their polices, their children, their STDs etc.  Please do this, for the sake and sanity of the Facebook community. Do not post this shit on your Facebook status'...Mark (yeah, we are that tight), did not intend for Facebook to be that way.

And here, since I’m on my BLOG and not a Facebook Newsfeed, comes my semi, yet real, possibly intelligent political views about this election. Election 2012, yo. 

The first election I could and voted in was the controversial, nail biting, should have became a made-for TV movie in  2004... Bush/Gore election.  I was basically just a baby. I voted the way my mother wanted of me and also so I could guarantee she would still be financially supportive of me and keep me in her will for those next four years.  

Four years later the 2008 election snuck up, and again I voted.  This time, I voted to mainly make sure that when I voted it would be so I would be able to tell my future children that I voted for the first black president in the world, and by world, I mean the tiny bubble I think only exists, America...and *Pluto.

*Yes it’s still a planet in my eyes.

And now, even though I don't have time for this circus shit...here we go again in 2012.

This is my third election, but a bit different.

I can’t sit here and write to all of you that who I will vote for on November 6th, 2012 is based on what party my super pale, super white, super Dutch mother has voted for ever since 1957 when she became a U.S. citizen. I also can’t say it’s because I can truthfully tell my future children I voted for the guy who is in the chapter of the history book they are studying as the first black president and I was living in D.C. during that very monumental election eve. I still can’t comprehend that we are that advanced that we wanted a black man before we wanted a woman in office, but hey, I also still can’t comprehend that Blackberry, Lindsay Lohan, and Adidas snap pants aren’t going to make a comeback.

Do I sound politically intellectual? (I hope your answer is no) Would you choose who I’m voting for? (Please don’t) But if you happened to answer yes to one or more of these two questions, you are an asshole. It seems finally after 27 fortunate, yet unfortunate years on this planet, I have some political opinions, yet they are still pretty shallow.

Like my love, and obsession with pop culture and TV, my political views are  just as shallow... 

Don’t ask me about the economy - I don’t understand the economy, nor the student loans or the 401K I have

Don’t ask me about immigration - Tacos in LA are orgasmic

Don’t ask me about foreign policy - Apparently, war happens, and that’s sucks, but hey, Osama bin Laden is dead

Don’t ask me about oil - When I got my driver’s license, gas was 89 cents per gallon, and I’ve watched like two episodes of ‘Dallas’, both the 2012 version  and the ‘Who shot JR’ one

Don’t ask me about global warming - I love the hot more than the cold

Don’t ask me about the Tea Party - I LOVE Earl Grey.

Here we go though..

Like, Baz Lurhman said, “California will make you soft" ...

This is all I wholeheartedly care about...I think California has made me softer (I’ve always been soft though. I've realized this when my mother told at 19 that my pudgy stomach was not still "baby fat.")

Here are the things I kinda, sorta, want to, maybe think about and think should be cool...

Women’s Rights- All women are fit to be mothers? Andrea Yates? Snooki? Octomom? Drunk 27 year old at bar drinking whiskey all night? Come on.  Ohhh, and contraceptives aren’t accepted by the Catholic church? Oh but creepy priests and Jerry Sandusky are? Come on. Whether I’m raped, or rape my soulmate, let me decide what to do with the Oreo cooking inside me.

Editors Note: Females 70 cents to males one dollar, kind of fucking blows (I don’t have to deal with that, but still, come on)

Health care- Why can’t everyone have health care? Seattle Grace never asks for insurance. How can you let someone die  or stay in pain because they don’t have insurance? 

Gay Marriage - Just let them fucking marry, yo. It’s legit, not affecting your everyday life, unless your spouse leaves you for their new, same sex partner.  That’s on you then, you should have seen the signs.  Your husband was a fan of ‘Pretty Little Liars’, Bette Midler AND ‘Magic Mike'? Come on, the signs were there, let him be happy with Javier and move the fuck on.

Marijuana - Just fucking legalize it. I don’t smoke it anymore because I’m adult, I'm over it and have a job that doesn’t condone it. But, hey,  if you legalize it, I’m on completely and utterly on board. Hey yo, even if  you aren't on the same board as me though, at least let the cancer, glaucoma and other ill patients sooth their shit with it. Don't be fuckers.  

Sidenote: If someone could make Xanax and Lithium over the counter, that would be amazing as well.

So on November 6th, just vote for whoever you want, but if you don't know vote for someone who looks like Zac Efron, speaks like Zac Efron, acts like Zac Efron, sings like Zac Ef.. okay, you get the point.