Oh Look, There's That Silver Lining...

I’ve been a pretty optimistic person until I reached age six. I'm kidding, I was always a pretty optimistic person until I met pessimistic in my early 20s. That’s when it became "woe is me", and "there’s obviously a conspiracy going on to take me down and ruin my life." I then started to realize every bad thing that happens to you, you can find a silver, possibly gray, more likely dull gray lining, it may be miniscule, but it’ll be there.

Here are some of the examples in my own life (some may be true, some may not be, call it artistic integrity)

Bad thing:  Eating a steak sandwich followed by 16 hot wings in one sitting.
Silver lining: I washed it all down with water and for dessert I ate the carrot and celery sticks provided.
Bad thing: I noticed the contour of my collar bone depleting, and everything from my boobs down growing.

Bad thing: Thinking people care about what I have to say.
Silver lining: People actually care about what I have to say.
Bad thing: Nothing.  They really do care what I have to say.

Bad thing: That time I saw that bird with a broken wing in my backyard and I just started kicking it like a soccer ball.
Silver lining: This is a joke, I’m messing with you guys.
Bad thing: The silver lining is a lie.

Bad thing: Pretending I actually care what you are saying to me.
Silver lining: I’m a pretty good actress so it really does seem I care.
Bad thing: Not knowing what someone is talking about when then bring up what they said to me prior.

Bad thing: Thinking about a friend dying suddenly and tragically.
Silver lining: I already have what I’m going to say about that person and the impact they had on my life planned out.
Bad thing: Thinking I haven’t just jinxed any of them.

Bad thing: Thinking of the disturbing thoughts I have in my head as quirky.
Silver lining: I get to use the word quirky often.
Bad thing: My thoughts are actually disturbing.

Bad thing: Smoking cigarettes.
Silver lining: They make me look cool.
Bad thing: Thinking they make me look cool.

Bad thing: Pretending like that I didn’t really kick that bird I mentioned earlier to death.
Silver lining: I didn’t, I’m still messing with you guys.
Bad thing: Having you guys question my homicidal tendencies and if I did or didn't kill that bird.  You probably are convinced I did.