Things That Concern Me: May 28th, 2013: I'm Really Good At...
...making horrible decisions.
I had this epiphany while walking out of work today. We all make horrible decisions and we have since we were little, but I believe I started making horrible decisions more consciously and consistently once I turned 21. Over the past six years or so, every decision I've made has been horrible.
With every rule though, there is an exception. I have to give myself credit where credit is due though. In these past six years I have made some good decisions, like moving out to LA, not posting the picture of my mother and six year old me in authenic Dutch garb while vacationing in Holland (soon, guys, soon) and the time in Vegas when my Visa was shut off and I didn't call that night to have it reactivated. Also, I haven't been offered drugs in a while, but I'm assuming if I had, I would've said no. Other than that, every decision I've made has been horrid. Let me show you.
Horrible Decision Example #1
Right now. I have a New Girl spec script that is due to submit in exactly three days...only to get the rejection letter four months from now. I am two acts and 19 pages short of completing it. Instead of working on it right now, I'm writing this sentence, with sips of beer being intertwined. While I'm multitasking, I know these aren't the right tasks to multi. It's really, really horrible, I have to stop, but I can't.
Horrible Decision Example #2
In ten days, one of my oldest and dearest friends is getting married. I haven't tried on my bridesmaid dress since before Christmas. I know I should be eating nothing but tuna and spicy mustard with lemon water, but that hasn't happened. Right? I know. Oh...what has been happening? I'll tell you. In the past four days, Outback, Dominos, the unhealthiest sushi possible, steak quesadillas, beers...lots and lots of beers, half a Carvel ice cream cake, four ice cream sandwiches, a LOT of lollipops, some tasty cakes, a Jersey Mike's giant Turkey and Provolone with oil, mayo and extra cheese, more beer, Taco Bell, and the #4 at Wendy's. I guess I'm eating so I don't start crying.
Horrible Decision Example #3
I never wanted to be that girl that Instagrammed their food. In retrospect, somehow, unbeknownst to me, I became that girl. When I realized that this afternoon, I promised myself I would stop and never do it again. For the past six hours though, all I can think about is posting the picture I took that is sitting in my phone's album of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch I had for lunch in either X-Pro II, Sutro, or Inkwell.
Horrible Decision Example #4
Assuming the rash on my upper stomach that appeared two days ago, will simply just disappear. Also assuming that it's not some flesh eating bacteria, or cancer.
Horrible Decision Example #5
Thinking I would wake up cold last night so snuggling up in sweatpants and a warm blanket on my friend's couch to awake at 4:30 AM half naked, with my sweaty shirt being used as a pillow, and the blanket on the floor with a dog staring at me.
Horrible Decision Example #6
Since I'm having the worst inner struggle of my life on whether or not to post my Taco Bell lunch on Instagram, I posted a picture I sent to a 3 year old today of me crying because she made me sad. The caption titled "Lonellly teardrops" in homage to the late, great Jackie Wilson.
(Kidding...or am I?)
Horrible Decision Example #10
I'm actually really ashamed of this one, after having one too many during a brunch-inner (my word for drinking mimosas intertwined with some beers and a shot or two during breakfast, lunch, and early bird special dinner) driving home and getting into the left lane of the freeway in standstill traffic, peeing in my car three times. In my defense (I know there is no true defense), I knew that peeing, my pants and car seat was the best case scenario instead of trying to move over four lanes to get off at the McDonald's a half mile away
(In all seriousness, don't drink and drive. Just like texting..."it can wait")
Horrible Decision Example #11
Trying the Channing Tatum car slide from 21 Jump Street after numerous beers onto a boat. (I'm walking with a limp today, people)
To sum it all up, I believe that my most horrible decision was trying that sip of Budweiser in my best friend's basement in the sixth grade.
Some of these may be true, some of them may be false, all of these may be true, or all of these may be false. That's the best part of writing, right?
Secret Horrible Decision Example #12
After posting this, not working on my NEW GIRL script, but continuing to drink while watching season 4 of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT on Netflix.
I had this epiphany while walking out of work today. We all make horrible decisions and we have since we were little, but I believe I started making horrible decisions more consciously and consistently once I turned 21. Over the past six years or so, every decision I've made has been horrible.
With every rule though, there is an exception. I have to give myself credit where credit is due though. In these past six years I have made some good decisions, like moving out to LA, not posting the picture of my mother and six year old me in authenic Dutch garb while vacationing in Holland (soon, guys, soon) and the time in Vegas when my Visa was shut off and I didn't call that night to have it reactivated. Also, I haven't been offered drugs in a while, but I'm assuming if I had, I would've said no. Other than that, every decision I've made has been horrid. Let me show you.
Horrible Decision Example #1
Right now. I have a New Girl spec script that is due to submit in exactly three days...only to get the rejection letter four months from now. I am two acts and 19 pages short of completing it. Instead of working on it right now, I'm writing this sentence, with sips of beer being intertwined. While I'm multitasking, I know these aren't the right tasks to multi. It's really, really horrible, I have to stop, but I can't.
Horrible Decision Example #2
In ten days, one of my oldest and dearest friends is getting married. I haven't tried on my bridesmaid dress since before Christmas. I know I should be eating nothing but tuna and spicy mustard with lemon water, but that hasn't happened. Right? I know. Oh...what has been happening? I'll tell you. In the past four days, Outback, Dominos, the unhealthiest sushi possible, steak quesadillas, beers...lots and lots of beers, half a Carvel ice cream cake, four ice cream sandwiches, a LOT of lollipops, some tasty cakes, a Jersey Mike's giant Turkey and Provolone with oil, mayo and extra cheese, more beer, Taco Bell, and the #4 at Wendy's. I guess I'm eating so I don't start crying.
Horrible Decision Example #3
I never wanted to be that girl that Instagrammed their food. In retrospect, somehow, unbeknownst to me, I became that girl. When I realized that this afternoon, I promised myself I would stop and never do it again. For the past six hours though, all I can think about is posting the picture I took that is sitting in my phone's album of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch I had for lunch in either X-Pro II, Sutro, or Inkwell.
Horrible Decision Example #4
Assuming the rash on my upper stomach that appeared two days ago, will simply just disappear. Also assuming that it's not some flesh eating bacteria, or cancer.
Horrible Decision Example #5
Thinking I would wake up cold last night so snuggling up in sweatpants and a warm blanket on my friend's couch to awake at 4:30 AM half naked, with my sweaty shirt being used as a pillow, and the blanket on the floor with a dog staring at me.
Horrible Decision Example #6
Since I'm having the worst inner struggle of my life on whether or not to post my Taco Bell lunch on Instagram, I posted a picture I sent to a 3 year old today of me crying because she made me sad. The caption titled "Lonellly teardrops" in homage to the late, great Jackie Wilson.
Horrible Decision Example #7
Posting this picture on my blog.
Horrible Decision Example #8
That guy, on my boss's hotel bed.
Horrible Decision Example #9
Befriending Amy Reed(Kidding...or am I?)
Horrible Decision Example #10
I'm actually really ashamed of this one, after having one too many during a brunch-inner (my word for drinking mimosas intertwined with some beers and a shot or two during breakfast, lunch, and early bird special dinner) driving home and getting into the left lane of the freeway in standstill traffic, peeing in my car three times. In my defense (I know there is no true defense), I knew that peeing, my pants and car seat was the best case scenario instead of trying to move over four lanes to get off at the McDonald's a half mile away
(In all seriousness, don't drink and drive. Just like texting..."it can wait")
Horrible Decision Example #11
Trying the Channing Tatum car slide from 21 Jump Street after numerous beers onto a boat. (I'm walking with a limp today, people)
To sum it all up, I believe that my most horrible decision was trying that sip of Budweiser in my best friend's basement in the sixth grade.
Some of these may be true, some of them may be false, all of these may be true, or all of these may be false. That's the best part of writing, right?
Secret Horrible Decision Example #12
After posting this, not working on my NEW GIRL script, but continuing to drink while watching season 4 of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT on Netflix.
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