I Get Hit On... ALL The Time. Ugh.

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I've always wanted to be that pretty girl that gets hit on by throngs and throngs of men. I used to be so jealous of my friends that it happened to all the time. They would always complain and I would be flabbergasted as to why. IT'S A GIRL'S DREAM. I started taking fish oil daily and it just opened up the flood gates, I guess.

Something people may not know about me is that I'm a humble person. Every once in a while though, I feel that I deserve to brag about something. That something right now is that I get hit on... A LOT.  In the past three days alone, I've been hit on six times...

And to my beautiful friends; I finally get it now, it's tough, exhausting and disheartening. When will I find a guy who likes me for the inside of me, deteriorated liver and all, instead of just basing their attraction on my milk chocolatey goodness and the huge hole on the side of my right Chuck Taylor? One day, one day maybe...

In the mean time I would like to share three of the most persistent and so obvious suitors...

Time 1
I've been working out of our downtown office the majority of the week, and EVERY SINGLE morning I get to the lobby, the concierge dude escorts me to the elevator, pushes the up button on the elevator, once the doors open he walks INTO the elevator and presses the floor I need. I'm always polite and say thank you, but I don't feel like I'm overtly being too nice so it gives him the wrong idea. It's like...stop doing those things, brah. Also wear a skinnier tie. I don't know what I can do to get him to take the hint that I'M NOT INTERESTED.

Time 2 
Every Tuesday and Thursday, Jared, the barista who hands me my coffee at the Starbucks drive-thru always asks how I am, then makes a comment like "This weather, huh?" or "That's a good song that's playing." or "Rough night?" (always with a smirk) then when he hands me my skinny vanilla latte he always tells me "Work hard and have a good day today." Like come on dude, I just get my coffee from you, that's all I need, I'm only answering your small talk because I don't want a loogie in my drink.  I would probably be more interested if he hadn't suggested that  I watch Ice Road Truckers to really get a perspective the day I mentioned I was bummed about the rain. Like... I'M NOT INTERESTED.

Time 3
My neighbor a couple doors down from me has this cute little Pomeranian that he walks everyday, and I don't find it coincidental  that he is walking him the exact same time everyday I go and come back home from work. He's always saying things like "Have a great day." and "Hope you had a great day at work." It's like ughhhhh. Can he be anymore transparent? I get it. You think I'm sexy. You want to marry me. You want me to rub your beer belly and bald head for the rest of your life. I don't understand how he can't take the hint that I'M NOT INTERESTED. I always smile politely and say "You have a good day too." or I bend down and pet his dog. Or when I'm walking to my house I smile brightly and say "I did have a good day... actually, a great day now that it's over." (I really do say the last statement... every. single. time.)  It's so hard being me sometimes.

Bonus Time
This happened a while back but I mean this guy was probably the worse offender. So overly aggressive and transparent. I knew his motive the minute I opened up this email.

Little backstory, I wrote a Missed Connections on Craigslist (for business that doesn't concern you)...he replied...

I can't find the message I posted, I thought I screenshot it but apparently I didn't ...
here is a brief paraphrase of what I wrote:

Love At the Park? - w4m - 28 (Burbank)
Missed Connection: I saw you at the park, you were teaching your little son how to ride his bike, he fell. I started laughing hysterically, until I saw the blood...
(I'm sure there were descriptive qualities, minor details, and love profession but ...)



I then received this:



Apparently I also mentioned that the "kid" cried. I, being polite yet obvious that I wasn't interested responded...



It turns out that I was terribly mistaken. He wasn't like all the other guys that hit on me.  I literally didn't find this email, until I searched for the previous two:


And this which I found an hour ago makes me feel like... I BLEW IT!! HE COULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE. ROLANDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Is it too late to respond?



BONUS BONUS TIME
A few email responses from guys that get how to be subtle and not so aggressive ....









Then there is this guy...who I think is actually ...

kinda cute... (I didn't see this one either...is it too late respond?)







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