An Explanation to You.

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To everyone reading this, who aren't the two cute boys this is meant for. Here is a little background.

 Driving home from work tonight. I took the backroads through Burbank because the traffic on the freeway was *electrifying. I was stopped at a red light just minding my own business, singing some Cee Lo Green Bright Lights Bigger City. I'm obsessed with that song. It's old but I heard it for the first time this weekend. And you know how all your firsts go, once it happens, you just want more and more of it. (i.e. sip of alcohol, sex, Zac Efron)

 *Electrifying said in the voice of John Travolta singing You're the One That I Want.

 Anyway, to my right, the driver in the car next to me started mouthing something to me and pointing down. My brain isn't a quick processing mechanism unless its with an insult or pop culture joke. So upon seeing these two super cute guys pointing down and mouthing stuff to me, I of course assume what every cute, milk chocolate, low self esteem, adorkable 20-something girl would assume; they want me to put my car in park, hop in theirs and the three of us will live together in love for the rest of our lives. Well that, or they wanted me to put my car in park, hop in theirs and perform fellatio. I got the latter conclusion from the pointing.

 After seven seconds or so I realized they wanted me to roll down my window. Oh. Once step one was accomplished, my brain restarted and it took me another 13 seconds to realize what they were saying to me.

 "Burbank Mall. How do we get to the Burbank Mall?"

 My brain registered that as, "Oh. Okay. These cute guys want to the mall and take me out to dinner." Four seconds later my brain registered "No you asshole, tell them how to get to the mall."

 "Right, brain...right"

 "Uh just keep going straight."

 Both of the boys smiled, oh so winningly and responded with a warm thank you.

 The light turned green and I hit the pedal. Three seconds later my brain said this to me, "You moron that is the complete wrong way to go the mall, you are taking them away from the mall you should have told them to turn right at the light you guys just were at."

 "Fuck."

 I processed this new piece of information and turned to see that they were a little bit behind me so I slowed down, turned my head to their car, their window was already up so I pointed down trying to get their attention.  One of two things may have happened in that moment.

 One - they saw this and thought I was trying to initiate some sexual stuff in my nether region with them and they ignored my advances
or
Two- they didn't notice me.

 I had to speed up because I was slowing down traffic behind me. I felt super bad in that moment and I still do. Like worse than when you accidentally kick your friend's baby.

 This being the internet and the chances of anything going viral a real possibility, I just want to apologize to you boys incase this post does just that.
Boys-
I'm SOOO sorry for the directions I gave you. My mind blanked in the awe of how gorgeous you both were. I hope you find the mall. The fact that you may never find it is an actual and terrifying fear that has been flooding my brain since this happened. I probably won't be able to sleep tonight because of it.

 There are about three 7-11's from where we met until you reach the Burbank Airport, I hope you stopped in one and asked after driving for miles and reaching no mall.

 I didn't do this on purpose and I'm terribly, terribly sorry. I hope you somehow see this one day in your lives, and I can make this up to you guys by taking you for fro-yo, or buying you guys a soft pretzel.

 I truly hope you find the mall and have a joyous evening there. It's nice, and there's a bunch of stuff to do in Downtown Burbank. Maybe after the mall you can catch a comedy show at Flappers down the street. Orrrrr the three of us can do that the next time our paths cross.

 I'm also hoping you didn't ask another cute, milk chocolate, low self esteem, adorkable 20-something girl and my dreams are being had by her as we speak.

 Again I can't apologize enough.

 Til we meet again....

 Yours (one day, eventually),
Chandra T.


P.S. If you do see this, you can contact me on Twitter @theChandraMoore...and we can take it from there.  Good luck and godspeed

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