Things That Concern Me March 19th, 2013: Spring Breakers
Spring break forr evaaa...
I saw Spring Breakers this past Saturday. I'm not a big movie goer. I'm content with watching the now playing in theaters movies that iTunes has in my own home, in sweats eating a pound of tuna sashimi.
Here's my review:
The first third of the movie I felt like I was having an outer body experience and watching myself watch this movie. There was also this smirk that kept creeping up on my face, at parts that weren't even smirk-worthy. I'm still not sure if it was a comedy or a drama or an action film. There's this scene where Ashley Benson and Vanessa Hudgens characters are showing Selena Gomez's how they robbed the convenience store. It was weird because there's a brief moment when they are yelling something along the lines of "GET ON YOUR MOTHER FUCKING KNEES OR I'LL FUCKING KILL!" while pointing their finger guns at her head that I thought to myself..."You should probably get on your knees, I think they are really going to kill you." Spoiler alert: They don't. Their fingers weren't loaded (bada bing!)
The second third of the movie had me starting to get anxious and wondering what would be happening in the next seven minutes and then the next nine minutes after that. Could have really used a Xanax there. Next thing I know I'm thinking about what it would be like to have dinner with James Franco. He comes on screen as a gangster rapper named Alien with his cornrows, tats, and grill and you're like 'this can't be serious'...but it is. And next thing you know, you're kinda like really digging him. There's a monlongue that James' character does that starts with "Look at my sheeyit" that is absolutely amazing. I would totally get that tattooed on my body, granted in a spot no one in a professional setting could see.
The final third of the film was me just sitting there with kind of a pit in my stomach, staring straight ahead and every so often looking around to see if everyone else was watching what I was watching. There is a scene in the backyard of Alien's mansion that includes a white grand piano, pink ski masks, rifles and one of the best Britney Spears songs ever. After the song ended something inside of me changed. I'm not sure what has changed but I know that now I'm a completely different person than I was when I heard one of the girls say "Play us a song." four minutes prior on that Saturday evening.
The final moments of the film I had that smirk on my face again, this time a disbeliving one. Screen faded to black and in my head I said "What??" The credits started to roll and it was silent in the theater for a good 15 seconds before anyone even got up out of their seats.
I hope I gave you a clear cut picture of what Spring Breakers is about, and what completely normal emotions you could possibly feel while viewing it.
You should probably go see it, or not.
I saw Spring Breakers this past Saturday. I'm not a big movie goer. I'm content with watching the now playing in theaters movies that iTunes has in my own home, in sweats eating a pound of tuna sashimi.
But there was a three fold triangle that made me decide to partake in the popular American pasttime.
1st fold: Ashley Benson, Selena Gomez, and Vanessa Hudgens
I'm a huge Pretty Little Liars, Wizards of Waverly Place*, and High School Musical franchise fan
*Selena Gomez was named after Selena, so in my eyes, Gomez can do no wrong, and I have taken her under my wing and will defend her until her demise.
2nd fold: James Franco. I love him. I loved him since 'Freaks and Geeks' ...I fell in love with him as Tristan in Tristan and Isolde and he's a super crazy, almost schizo eclectic...and I love that. Plus...that James Dean thing he's got going for him...
3rd fold: Harmony Korine ...I remember watching Kids. I can't tell you the entire storyline but I remember I thought about it and it affected me for a long while.
secret 4th fold: It premiered in only LA and New York. It was showing in literally only three theaters in the ENTIRE world, and I was in a city that had one of those theaters. Not to mention ArcLight is like the most comfortable theaters ever.
I don't know what happened.
I don't know what happened.
I saw Spring Breakers three days ago...I haven't stopped thinking about it, which I read was one writer/director Harmony Korine's goals. Kudos to you, dude. For three days now, the look on my face is as if I'm trying to figure out the hardest math problem in the world in my head.
I think you should see the movie. I don't think you should go see the movie.
It wasn't good. It wasn't bad. It wasn't mediorce. It just...was, I think.
The main gist of the movie: Four college aged girls need money to go to Spring Break. They rob a conveinece store, go to Florida, live the dream, for a bit. They get arrested, a drug dealer/rapper/gangster bails them out. Hilarity, no wait drama, no wait...I dunno... something ensues.
Here's my review:
The first couple minutes of the movie seemed to be sponsored only by Natty Light and boobs. Remember watching MTV Spring Break in Cancun? It was like that if MTV had given all the spring breakers PCP and ectasy. The movie gets better with time I think. I lot happened to me in that movie theater.
The first third of the movie I felt like I was having an outer body experience and watching myself watch this movie. There was also this smirk that kept creeping up on my face, at parts that weren't even smirk-worthy. I'm still not sure if it was a comedy or a drama or an action film. There's this scene where Ashley Benson and Vanessa Hudgens characters are showing Selena Gomez's how they robbed the convenience store. It was weird because there's a brief moment when they are yelling something along the lines of "GET ON YOUR MOTHER FUCKING KNEES OR I'LL FUCKING KILL!" while pointing their finger guns at her head that I thought to myself..."You should probably get on your knees, I think they are really going to kill you." Spoiler alert: They don't. Their fingers weren't loaded (bada bing!)
The second third of the movie had me starting to get anxious and wondering what would be happening in the next seven minutes and then the next nine minutes after that. Could have really used a Xanax there. Next thing I know I'm thinking about what it would be like to have dinner with James Franco. He comes on screen as a gangster rapper named Alien with his cornrows, tats, and grill and you're like 'this can't be serious'...but it is. And next thing you know, you're kinda like really digging him. There's a monlongue that James' character does that starts with "Look at my sheeyit" that is absolutely amazing. I would totally get that tattooed on my body, granted in a spot no one in a professional setting could see.
The final third of the film was me just sitting there with kind of a pit in my stomach, staring straight ahead and every so often looking around to see if everyone else was watching what I was watching. There is a scene in the backyard of Alien's mansion that includes a white grand piano, pink ski masks, rifles and one of the best Britney Spears songs ever. After the song ended something inside of me changed. I'm not sure what has changed but I know that now I'm a completely different person than I was when I heard one of the girls say "Play us a song." four minutes prior on that Saturday evening.
The final moments of the film I had that smirk on my face again, this time a disbeliving one. Screen faded to black and in my head I said "What??" The credits started to roll and it was silent in the theater for a good 15 seconds before anyone even got up out of their seats.
I hope I gave you a clear cut picture of what Spring Breakers is about, and what completely normal emotions you could possibly feel while viewing it.
You should probably go see it, or not.
I don't know why, but I'm almost pretty sure that I'm going to go see it at least two more times.
Hmm, I think I liked it.
Added bonus to you rap fans out there, some dude named Gucci Mane is in it?
Comments
Post a Comment