Letters to Lindsay - #1
I've decided to write one letter a day to Lindsay Lohan while she is incarcerated. I can only imagine how lonely it must be without twitter, without Dina, without Michael Lohan, and without her sister and her bff's the Maloof brothers. This first letter will just explain what she means to me and how I feel about her life, I will try my best to only use "I" statements.
Lindsay Lohan
11705 S Alameda Ave
Lynwood, CA 90262
Dear Lindsay Lohan, LiLo, Lo-Lo, Li-Li, L-squared, Lindsanity,
Hi. How are you? I am doing pretty good, keeping busy, living life. I remember the first time I saw you in 1998's "The Parent Trap." I thought it was spectacular. I was even more mesmerized when I found out you were in fact NOT a twin but you played both parts. I was disappointed when you were not nominated for anything...at all.
Next came your feud with Lizzie McGuire over Aaron Carter. That was stupid. Then came along "Freaky Friday" I really enjoyed that song "Take Me Away" and when Jamie Lee Curtis said "I look like the crypt keeper!!" I also would like to thank you for introducing me to Chad Michael Murray, although his hair could have been a little shorter. He looked alot better in your rival Lizze McGuire's movie "Cinderella Story". After this I watched "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." That's all I have to say about that.
Finally we are at the point where you turned from just this pretty well- known actress to my idol; "Mean Girls" This movie was amazing and it changed my life. I have it memorized from beginning to end. As the years passed by though I realized something. I have to thank Tina Fey for the creation of this movie and every actor and actress in the film except you for giving quotes that I can apply to my everyday life. I guess what I'm trying to say you weren't really needed in this movie. I quote more lines from Tim Meadows than I do from you. I have to apologize for giving you so much credit.
Your next couple of movies, "Herbie", "Prairie Home Companion" and "Just My Luck" and a couple of others I didn't even bother watching because I was too busy trying to emulate your personal life....i.e. DUIs,snorting coke and becoming super anorexic and or/bulimic...it was going well until you went to rehab...
Next came "Georgia Rule" which I did watch and thought hey this is pretty good. I was confused at first of why it was taking place in Arizona when the movie title clearly states there's a rule in Georgia, I then learned that was Jane Fonda's character name. I remember believing you when said Arnold was coming into your room and doing inappropriate things like my college coach did to me. Then when you said you made it up, I got mad at you, then I realized you weren't make it up I was sad for you again. Truly art.
The last movie I watched in its entirety was "I Know Who Killed Me." I'm really not going to lie to you, I had nightmares for a week and not because it was good.
I was upset when Living Lohans premiered on E! and you were no where to be found. But I did enjoy Chelsea Handler's reenactments on her show. I was also upset when you started dating Samantha Ronson, because it was just weird. Kind of made that whole feud between you and Lizzie pointeless, don't you think? I also thought it was ironic that Samantha Ronson's song "Built This Way" was in your movie Mean Girls. I enjoyed that one time you hosted SNL and you were doing that Debbie Downer sketch and nobody could keep a straight face..I laughed.
Well there are my feelings towards you. How are things? Seriously. Are you making friends? Are the girls meaner in there than they were in the movie? I liked your mugshot, your orange jumpsuit goes really well with your complexion. People on the outside haven't forgotten you. There are twitter accounts jumping up all over the place...my favorite is @LindsayInJail it seems as accurate as it gets. Anyway I gotta go. I'll talk to you tommorrow.
Forever Yours,
Chandra
p.s. That one papparazzi picture of you with a white substance pouring out of your shoe? I know that wasn't baby powder...just saying.
Lindsay Lohan
11705 S Alameda Ave
Lynwood, CA 90262
Dear Lindsay Lohan, LiLo, Lo-Lo, Li-Li, L-squared, Lindsanity,
Hi. How are you? I am doing pretty good, keeping busy, living life. I remember the first time I saw you in 1998's "The Parent Trap." I thought it was spectacular. I was even more mesmerized when I found out you were in fact NOT a twin but you played both parts. I was disappointed when you were not nominated for anything...at all.
Next came your feud with Lizzie McGuire over Aaron Carter. That was stupid. Then came along "Freaky Friday" I really enjoyed that song "Take Me Away" and when Jamie Lee Curtis said "I look like the crypt keeper!!" I also would like to thank you for introducing me to Chad Michael Murray, although his hair could have been a little shorter. He looked alot better in your rival Lizze McGuire's movie "Cinderella Story". After this I watched "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." That's all I have to say about that.
Finally we are at the point where you turned from just this pretty well- known actress to my idol; "Mean Girls" This movie was amazing and it changed my life. I have it memorized from beginning to end. As the years passed by though I realized something. I have to thank Tina Fey for the creation of this movie and every actor and actress in the film except you for giving quotes that I can apply to my everyday life. I guess what I'm trying to say you weren't really needed in this movie. I quote more lines from Tim Meadows than I do from you. I have to apologize for giving you so much credit.
Your next couple of movies, "Herbie", "Prairie Home Companion" and "Just My Luck" and a couple of others I didn't even bother watching because I was too busy trying to emulate your personal life....i.e. DUIs,snorting coke and becoming super anorexic and or/bulimic...it was going well until you went to rehab...
Next came "Georgia Rule" which I did watch and thought hey this is pretty good. I was confused at first of why it was taking place in Arizona when the movie title clearly states there's a rule in Georgia, I then learned that was Jane Fonda's character name. I remember believing you when said Arnold was coming into your room and doing inappropriate things like my college coach did to me. Then when you said you made it up, I got mad at you, then I realized you weren't make it up I was sad for you again. Truly art.
The last movie I watched in its entirety was "I Know Who Killed Me." I'm really not going to lie to you, I had nightmares for a week and not because it was good.
I was upset when Living Lohans premiered on E! and you were no where to be found. But I did enjoy Chelsea Handler's reenactments on her show. I was also upset when you started dating Samantha Ronson, because it was just weird. Kind of made that whole feud between you and Lizzie pointeless, don't you think? I also thought it was ironic that Samantha Ronson's song "Built This Way" was in your movie Mean Girls. I enjoyed that one time you hosted SNL and you were doing that Debbie Downer sketch and nobody could keep a straight face..I laughed.
Well there are my feelings towards you. How are things? Seriously. Are you making friends? Are the girls meaner in there than they were in the movie? I liked your mugshot, your orange jumpsuit goes really well with your complexion. People on the outside haven't forgotten you. There are twitter accounts jumping up all over the place...my favorite is @LindsayInJail it seems as accurate as it gets. Anyway I gotta go. I'll talk to you tommorrow.
Forever Yours,
Chandra
p.s. That one papparazzi picture of you with a white substance pouring out of your shoe? I know that wasn't baby powder...just saying.
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