3 Questions.

Keeping this short and sweet.

In 1995, Joan Osbourne asked all of us just one question. If you could, what is the sole question you would ask God.

If this was 1995 and I got to ask that question, it would probably be along the lines of "God, why do you let people die?"

It's 2013 now, so times have changed. For instance, that isn't a question on my mind anymore, I get it and my questions now go deeper.

While I don't actually know Joan, I feel like I do. I mean how can you not feel connected to some one who had a huge gold hoop pierced through her nose?  So since I know Joan, I'm pretty sure if she remixed her hit "One of Us" now,  she'd change the lyric from "ask one question", to... ask two questions.  Why do I think this? I don't know, probably because of inflation, gas prices, technological progress and things like that. 

Here are my two questions that I would ask God if I could right now.

Hey God, why did you give us girls so much hair we have to maintain?

I'm not so much asking about our heads of hair. I'm more so asking about the hair EVERYWHERE else. Everywhere. If it was meant to be shaved, waxed and lasered off, why give it us? Like we don't have to deal with bigger, other issues like bleeding involuntarily every month and pushing other humans out of our vaginas? All guys have to deal with is smegma and blue balls? Doesn't feel fair and makes it seem like your a bit misogynistic.

Hey God, why did you let Britney Spears "comeback", but make her "comeback" different?

Don't get me wrong people, I ADORE Brit Brit, but after her meltdown and her reappearance in our weekly lives she's not the same Britney. Sure she is still super appealing, but does anybody else think she's robotic? Like when she isn't performing on stage she has a 24/7 earpiece in her ear and people are telling her what to say? If we can just put her and Justin in a room for three hours I think she would come out of there better than ever. Justin's making music again...Britney's making music again, let's make some TRL pop love music again and get our girl back.

Secret bonus question three:

Hey God, why didn't you give the Golden Globe for Best Television Series, Comedy or Musical to 'Girls'?

This is a bonus question because I already know the answer, Girls is going to get it, we're over Modern Family's wins, it's time for a new.